He Wants a Loan. Can I Demand That He Get Vaccinated First?


Ask him to talk to a mutually agreed-upon expert about the vaccine as the condition for your loan — a provider of medical care, for instance. By expanding his sources of information, you may convince him to want the vaccine. That would be the best result. Not only would he get his loan, you might get your weekend helper back, too.

I know of a family that suffered a terrible tragedy: Their son died, leaving their young grandson parentless. The family lives modestly, but I believe their net worth is substantial. (I would guess around $50 to $75 million.) So I was surprised to learn that the family is apparently soliciting donations for a trust fund for the grandchild. This seems almost offensive to me. Am I wrong?


What an ugly question! First, you assume a family’s great wealth without evidence. (On what do you base your “guess” at their net worth?) You don’t seem to know anything for certain. Then you add that they’re “apparently” soliciting donations. Well, are they, or aren’t they? You don’t even know that. You seem to be trading in idle gossip, none of which affects you personally.

Let’s focus on the facts, instead: A family has lost a son, and a young child has lost his father. What possible business is it of yours to speculate on their finances at such a terrible time? If you don’t like the (possibly fictional) trust fund, don’t contribute to it.

Because of the pandemic, my husband and I moved temporarily from a city to my suburban hometown. We miss the city, but we’ve decided that staying in the suburbs for the foreseeable future is best for our family. (We recently had a baby, and the family support is amazing — as is the lower cost of living.) The problem: I have always based my identity on living in a city, and my friends look down on the suburbs. I’m afraid they’ll think less of me, and I’ll think less of myself, if I tell them we’re staying here. Help!


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